For the second week of class, we had to write a fiction paragraph that exemplified a setting. Here is what I came up with:
Hush of Winter:
The silence was deafening. The more I listened the louder the sounds that made up the quiet became. The soft hush that comes with falling snow, a blanket that muted sounds. The whistling of the bitter cold wind initiating the soft scratches of branches against each other and the dull whisper as the branches dropped their small burdens of snow. The grey, gaunt skeletons of the trees stood out against the white landscape. The occasional burst of color granted by an evergreen seemed to liven up the dead, silent landscape as if reminding anyone who wandered there was still life here in this desolate expanse. I closed my eyes and pulled my cloak around me, the hood’s soft fur tickling my face. I was enjoying the stillness, of hearing only my thoughts. Another sound met my ears: the soft crunches of human footsteps, originating from not far behind me. My stomach dropped to my feet as my heart sped up. I clutched the cool metal handle of the silver dagger in my coat, ready to attack. I turned quickly, my feet packing the snow where I stood until it was hard as a rock. I let out a breath as I realized it was only Barnabas. Like me, he sought refuge in the trees. The curse of the eternal winter made sure people never ventured far into the woods. We would not be hunted for our powers as long as it lasted.
Comments I Received:
- I loved this piece! You put into words the winter scene I can never quite describe. It’s more than the physical setting but the feeling of the quiet, lonely landscape, and you captured it beautifully! You transitioned seamlessly from the setting into the very beginnings of plot and it makes me want to read more! Great job!
- That is beautiful! It really shows in your writing that you know what you are doing; you established your setting well. Winter has a very specific atmosphere, and you got it completely right! If you think about it, writing as a medium has this power that other mediums do not, as it forces us to use our imagination for immersion. You cannot feel something like this from a movie, since everything is already established for you by the director. Your interpretation of the text in your mind is not the same as mine, or the same as someone else’s; that is something that makes writing and reading so wonderful, particularly fiction where everything is made up and waiting to be interpreted by every unique individual!
- I really enjoyed reading your post. The scene of winter was excellent. We don’t get a lot of snow in southeast Texas, but I could feel the cold just reading your post. I really liked the reference of the trees as skeletons. I could imagine the frigid breath blowing from my mouth as I made my way in the woods. I wonder what Barnabas was? I like to think he was a raven or some other mysterious bird. Excellent work overall, and I look forward to reading more from you.
- I too love fiction. your independent studying really shows here. I think this excerpt is amazing. In fact, I’d love to know what books you read. lol. If I had to pick somewhere you could improve maybe a little more detail on how you felt when you saw Barabas. something that speaks to the process of realizing it’s him and maybe him realizing it’s you. for instance what type of figure was he in the snow? What was going on with his face and temperament as he hobbled under the trees? But I enjoyed this a lot. I think overall your use of detail really put the reader in the story.
- I loved this passage! I am very, very fond of descriptions of frozen and wintery climates and environments. I love the sense of isolation that your descriptions evoke, and the rhythm conveys the urgency of the narrator as well. I could feel the bite of winter in my toes when you described her packing the snow until it was hard beneath her feet.
- Outstanding work on this assignment! Your setting is filled with vivid details, rich description and imagery. Well done!