Funny Quotes Part 2

This edition of funny quotes will follow a single conversation between my mom, my brother, my dad, and I. Some of the information I quote is misinformed, namely, the use of pedophile to mean a fetish for feet or children. I wasn’t aware there was a separate word. With that being said, enjoy!

Mom: And I just imagine your brother casually typing “perpetually prepubescent” about some little creatures for his Facebook Post.

Bro: They aren’t “little creatures!” They are a race of beings in Zelda!

Mom: So, yeah. Little creatures.

Bro: But on one of those facebook birthday games, one was Zelda themed and we got kissing one of them. That’s bordering on pedophilia.

Me: Pedophilia can mean one of two things: having a fetish for children or feet.

Mom: Or both.

Bro: That’s what I was thinking!

Mom: Sometimes I wonder.

Me: About what?

Mom: About us.

Me: What about us?

Mom: How abnormal we are.

Me: I’m sure we could ask our neighbor and she’d tell us.

Bro: We went from talking about prepubescence to pedophilia.

Mom: Perpetually prepubescent, which is an alliteration also. She says alliteratively.

Bro: Speaking of weird. I’m sure Dad would tell us how weird we are.

Mom: If he’s even paying attention. Right, [Dad]?

Dad: What?

Mom: Are we weird?

Dad: *sarcastically* No. Not at all.

*Mom, Bro, and I laugh*

Mom: He says, his voice dripping with sarcasm. *pause* I wonder what that would look like. Saliva?

Me: No. I think it would be thicker. Like mucus.

Mom: Ew!

Dad: See? Not weird at all!

Mom: *sarcastically* We’re not sarcastic either. *pause as everyone laughs. Then silence for a couple seconds.* It all started with perpetually prepubescent.

Me: I didn’t even realize that wording was strange.

Mom: See? We’re weird!

Me: Wait a second! We went from prepubescence  —

Mom: Perpetually so.

Me: — to pedophiles, to the viscosity *Mom snorts, Bro laughs at this word* of what dripping sarcasm would look like as compared to bodily fluids.

Mom: Now do you see why I wonder?

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