I am trying to be kind to myself, but it is proving to be really hard to do that. I have been trying to stick to a schedule, as you may have read in the post The Need for Structure: Creating a Schedule. But I am not a morning person.
It started off slowly after a week of following the schedule. I would skip the treadmill or not work on one thing or another during the allotted time. Then it grew. One day I slept all day during the free time. Then I slept again all night. It was a signal to me that I wasn’t giving myself enough time to sleep. It takes me a long time to fall asleep so this was not really surprising. Leaving only an hour or an hour and a half to fall asleep won’t cut it.
Then, I went off the schedule completely for the last three days. I would go to bed around 7pm and stay awake for hours. I would get up in the middle of the night and allow myself not to wake up at 6 AM giving myself a “break.” I would sleep in until 10 or 11 AM. Basically, I have been giving myself too many breaks.
So now I have to rethink my schedule. It was working for me for the most part. It was just too early. So I decided to try moving everything forward a little.
My new schedule Looks something like this:
I am also going to build in one day a week where I am easier on myself: I won’t stick to the schedule as rigidly. I will take a walk instead of the treadmill (which is on an incline so steep I have to use both of the handlebars so I don’t fall.) I am going to allow myself to nap during free time. I will do anything to go easier on myself.
And if this approach doesn’t work, I am going to change it up completely. No more early mornings. Late nights and waking up around 9 am or 10 am could be the secret if I need it to be.
But I’m not going to start my schedule right away. I have some stuff that is going to weigh heavily on my mind before then, so I am going to start it after the storm has passed. Adding unnecessary stuff into my life while stressed won’t help me stick to the schedule any more than I already have.