Where I Am and Where I Want to Be: Life in General

This is a second installment of the idea of goal setting. As I said in yesterday’s post, these are goals of where I want to be in a year or so unless otherwise stated. Yesterday’s post was my goals for writing.

Like last time, I will put these goals into categories. These three areas will be mental health, physical health, personal growth, and college.

1. Mental Health

Goals: I want to continue my streak of staying out of the hospital from one year to two, and keep it going as long as I can. Every March that I stay out of the hospital I want to reward myself for. I want to either have a healthier relationship with my mother or to cut her out of my life until she is ready to have a healthy relationship with me. I want to continue to stay with my therapist and maintain the healthy mental state I have been in for a while. I want to be prepared and whether the inevitable ups and downs of my mental health. I also want to start a happiness project, like the book from Gretchen Rubin.

Where I Am At: I have almost stayed out of the hospital for an entire year (May 8th will be the anniversary of my last discharge.) I have successfully listened to my mental health and what I needed and quit my job back in February in order to stay out of the hospital. I have maintained a healthy mental state for a while, even with little hiccups. I have written an open letter to my mother about the reasons why I am cutting her out of my life and why her relationship is toxic to me. I have put the ball in my mother’s court as to whether or not she is willing to change and have a relationship with me. I go to therapy regularly. I am reading The Happiness Project book.

What I Am Doing: I am continuing to practice my coping skills, going to therapy, and learning new things about myself that help me understand and cope better with the ups and downs of my mental health. I have a set time I go to therapy and have a standing appointment. I am going to set boundaries with my mother over what I will and will not accept in our relationship for my mental health. I will consider and plan my happiness project as soon as I have finished reading the book.

2. Physical Health

Goals: I want to go outside more. I want to exercise every other day. I want to eat healthier. I want to get out of the house more often.

Where I Am At: I am exercising intermittently for 15 minutes on a treadmill with a steep incline. I am not eating as healthy as I want to be, so I am starting to cook more as a way to help that. I am not going outside hardly at all or getting out of the house often.

What I Am Doing: I am planning on going to the grocery store every week. I am also planning on walking to the beach more often. I plan on exercising every other day on the treadmill and buying healthier meals for myself and the family. I plan on learning and trying new recipes and tracking my calories on My Fitness Pal more often.

3. Personal Growth

Goals: I want to get out of “victim mentality” that has been instilled in me since birth. Victim mentality means blaming others for your problems and saying things happen to you rather than the consequences your choices bring. But first I want to be able to identify when I am in victim mentality. This is something I have not been able to accomplish as of yet. This mentality is usually characterized by simple phrases that everyone uses: “I had no choice” or “I can’t because of…”. I also want to take more responsibility for my actions and consider the consequences before I act. I want to be able to keep myself accountable and stick to goals I set for myself.

Where I Am At: I am not currently able to identify when I am in the victim mentality. I am starting to consider potential consequences of my choices. I am learning what taking responsibility for my actions looks and sounds like. I am okay with sticking to goals I set for myself but I struggle sometimes.

What I Am Doing: I am learning to catch myself when I say “I had no choice” and “I can’t because of…” and replacing them with “I chose to… and it resulted in…”. These phrases are helping me take responsibility for my actions and consider potential consequences of future actions. I am asking for help brainstorming potential consequences from those I trust. I am creating a support network of people I can talk to about my mental health, personal growth, and other goals. I am trying out different methods to keep myself accountable and tracking and rewarding myself for sticking to my goals.

4. College

Goals: I want to continue getting a degree in Creative Writing online at SNHU. I want to get the best grades I can achieve and work on the assignments a little every day. I want to graduate in at least 5 years. I don’t want to switch schools again.

Where I Am At: I am going to school half-time online at SNHU and am considered a sophomore from AP credits in high school and transfer credits from a community college I went to for a semester and a half during 2016-2017. I am sticking to a schedule where I work on schoolwork at least an hour and a half each day. I have caught up completely in a class where I was eighty-one pages behind on reading the textbook, not including all of the other assignments I had to do.

What I Am Doing: My schedule has been working so I will keep it going. I have actively chosen not to quit school and to keep moving forward. Half-time attendance covers the whole tuition and textbooks with the loan amount. I am looking into scholarships so I can contemplate going full time to hasten my graduation date. I know online school works for me best due to my anxiety and will stick to online school. For that reason, I am not switching schools. Also, I like my advisor and the school’s set up. I am set to Graduate in December 2022.

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