A Strange, New Roommate

So yesterday I heard a noise in the dark of my room. And being the paranoid that I am, I got really scared. So I turned on the light and looked in the direction of the sound.

I saw a gecko playing with a bandaid on my ceiling.

Now, I should probably explain why there was a bandaid on my ceiling. I put it there to cover up a hole that someone probably drilled to put in blinds. The paranoid in me feels better with the holes covered.

Anyway, the gecko was pulling at the bandaid, then sticking it back into place. So, I started a conversation with the gecko in the attempt to reach an agreement so I could sleep and he could continue exploring our humble abode.

“Look,” I said, “If we are going to be roommates, I have just three simple ground rules. One, respect my personal space. In other words, don’t crawl on me when I am sleeping. Two, don’t make a mess. Please don’t use my room as your personal toilet. And finally, respect my sleeping time. You can do whatever you want, as long as it doesn’t make noise. Such as, oh I don’t know, playing with a bandaid over and over. If you follow these we will get along just fine and I won’t kick you out into the cold, dangerous world. Okay?”

The gecko didn’t respond. He kept playing with that bandaid. So I decided if I gave him a name, it might show I cared about him enough to make him stop. And I felt like I needed a unisex name since I didn’t know how the gecko identified his gender. Just for reference, I am using “he” as a general term. Not trying to be gender specific, and just trying to make the gecko feel more accepted as an equal.

So I came up with Peyton Lou. I asked Peyton Lou nicely, several times, to please stop playing with the bandaid. Eventually he did. But he woke me up several times during the night while he was playing with it again.

Mysteriously, Peyton Lou has disappeared since that night. I’m not sure if he was sacred of my wrath or if he simply moved on to the next amusing thing. Either way, he has adhered to the rules (for the most part).

And that is the true story of my strange, new roommate.


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