My Thoughts On Christmas

I am usually a ba-humbug kind of person. I think this comes from two things: working in retail and hearing christmas music for hours each shift since before thanksgiving, and childhood memories of how annoying it was to set up all of the decorations only to have to take them down a month later.

The ambiance is nice for christmas, I’ll admit that. But it also has been one of the times of year that I feel depressed. Part of it, I think, was living in Ohio and becoming depressed because of the lack of sunlight and cold weather. That has been fixed since I moved to Florida. But another part is working in retail and getting a lot of hours when I didn’t need or want them, but I still took them because I didn’t know how to say “No, thanks.” To me it was more money, and that couldn’t be a bad thing, right? But it took a lot of my energy.

That isn’t as much of a problem anymore. I only work between 20 and 23 hours a week and that is perfect for me. Plus, I am not working in a mall, so I don’t get that frenzied feeling of being overwhelmed as much because there aren’t as many customers. And I don’t have to be much of a salesperson like I did at my last two retail jobs.

Part of it, I think, is that I learned to say when I needed something and how to say no, without feeling guilty or like I was letting somebody down. Another part of it is that I have grown and am in a much better mental state now. And I don’t have to worry about running into anyone from high school anymore.

I am not feeling as depressed this christmas. It may be the sun, or a combination of the factors mentioned above, but it still feels great. I even have listened to christmas music on my own time! I am feeling more in the spirit, and maybe part of that is the fact that I’m not going back to Ohio and the family drama. I’m staying in Florida and having a 4 person christmas. And that is perfect.

I could grow out of the ba-humbug mood I have acquired. I am to an extent now. But it is a work in progress. And I hope it is completed, because I don’t like being the Debbie Downer during the christmas season (For those of you who don’t know what Debbie Downer is, look her up on YouTube on Saturday Night Live or SNL. It’s pretty much entered the American lexicon, but I’m never sure who knows what).

Have a merry christmas!

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